Some Happiness

A video to bring a smile to your face!
http://24hoursofhappy.com

If you are on mobile, try the following link.  Make sure to check out the link above when you are on a PC--very cool!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM

Gratitude From a Buddhist Perspective--Dharma Talk

 

This morning we will explore Cultivating Gratitude.  Webster’s Dictionary defines gratitude as “a feeling of appreciation or thanks.”  As we explore a few ways we can cultivate gratitude today, we will also learn about what gratitude means from a Buddhist perspective. 

 

Silently think of three things you are grateful for. It was easy to think of three things for some of you. For others, perhaps you struggled to think of something. Have you ever noticed that some of the things you are most grateful for can be the most bothersome at times? Being grateful is not always easy for various reasons.  For an untrained mind, gratitude does not always come naturally. It’s as if our brains get stuck in the negative thought patterns.

Cultivating gratitude makes me think of the story of Pollyanna written by Eleanor H. Porter. Pollyanna is a little orphan girl goes to live with her bitter aunt who owns and controls an entire town. Pollyanna teaches an entire town to be grateful by playing “The Glad Game.” Have you ever been in a situation where a person or group of people seemed like they were feasting on negative talk?  It is easy to fall into a habit of talking negative about things and even about ourselves, but we can stop this negativity by focusing on the positives and playing the glad game. With practice, the positive talk can become a habit we gravitate towards. Pollyanna lived by the philosophy that if you looked for the bad in mankind, you would find the bad.  Look for the good, and you will find the good. Psychology Today says “studies show that gratitude not only can be deliberately cultivated but can increase levels of well-being and happiness among those that cultivate it.”  

Now let’s talk about those times in our lives when looking back we are grateful.  Jack Kornfield quoted his Thai meditation teacher Ajahn Chah as saying to him,  "Which has had more value in your life, where have you grown more and learned more, where have you become more wise, where have you learned patience, understanding, equanimity, and forgiveness – in your hard times, or the good ones?"  There is an executive at a local company who has a wonderful positive attitude about all experiences and she encourages this positive attitude in her entire staff. In her department, she never accepted problems or issues during tough times. They are always referred to as challenges and opportunities. She is able to put a positive spin on any tough situation by focusing on solutions and looking upon things as an opportunity to change and grow. What if we could learn to be grateful for all experiences in this way--the challenges and opportunities in the present moment?  A Bodhisattva approaches everything, all beings and all experiences, even the dukkah (suffering), with equanimity and without judgment in the present moment.

Pema Chodron addresses how to do this in her book Start Where You Are when she discusses the pithy slogan in the Lojong teachings “Be Grateful to Everyone.”  What it means to be grateful to everyone is to learn how to deal with all types of situations and people that are difficult or bothersome. Pema Chodron said “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” Being grateful to everyone means being aware of your habitual response when difficult situations arise. Pema Chodron talks about leaning into these situations and putting a gap before responding to them in our habitual ways.

I love my dogs, but when I meditate at home they can be bothersome. One stares me down and growls and the other smacks her mouth. I used to interrupt my meditation and yell at them to stop, but this would leave me feeling guilty and like I failed when I sat back down to resume my meditation. It occurred to me one day that I could use my dogs as my teacher so I started an experiment of leaning into my feelings of irritation and disgust. Not ignoring, but recognizing the physical restlessness and stirring of irritation that arises and not reacting. Simply sitting in awareness with the feelings and holding compassion in my heart for my feelings arising and for my dogs.  At first it was difficult not to respond. I sat and sometimes twitched listening to the smacking and growling, wanting with every cell of my being to yell out at the dogs for being noisy--it was painful as Pema Chodron describes as itch I wanted to scratch. The most remarkable thing is happening, things are getting better. There is still the smacking and growling going on, but I have changed my response to the situation. I have found myself starting to smile in my heart when I start to hear them. I have released my attachment to the idea of having a perfectly quiet meditation space. The noise is simply part of my meditation. I am feeling more patience, peacefulness, freedom and even gratitude because I let this go and changed my behavior.

I have news for everyone here today; we are all annoying, obnoxious, and difficult to someone at sometime. Often times, the things that bother us in others are the very qualities we see in ourselves that are bothersome. The good news, we can work to change our responses when things situations arise by leaning in. By changing our response and behavior, we can change the world around us.

 

There are other ways to cultivate gratitude by shifting our awareness on the positive aspects of our lives.  I attended a retreat recently and the final puja (chant) right before bed each night was intended to remove evil spirits. It involved a symbolic three sided Tibetan dagger called a Phurba—each side of the dagger represents one of the 3 poisons (ignorance, greed/envy and anger) or evil spirits that can afflict us. While chanting, they hold the dagger and visualize (and I stress the visualization part) removing or exorcising the evil spirits, the 3 poisons, which hold us back from enlightenment. Those negative things which hold us back from living with a grateful and open heart. If this practice does not seem right for you, perhaps you can cultivate gratitude through the practice of keeping a gratitude journal. Every night before going to bed write down what you are grateful for. It is the regular practice of shifting awareness towards the positive aspects of our lives, over and over again, which neutralizes the negative thoughts and creates a positive mind.

In Tibetan Buddhism, simply to be born human and to be alive is something we should be deeply grateful. According to the Tibetan tradition we are fortunate to be born and to have inner wisdom to experience the dharma.  The Dalai Lama said “Everyday, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can."   

Through cultivating gratitude, we can realize the joy, suffering, and everything in between are all part of our unique journey called life. If we have tunnel vision, and look too closely at our problems, we will overlook the bigger picture and what we have to be thankful for. If we broaden our view, we will see the dukkah, problems and issues along our path are opportunities to help us evolve, change and grow. We can open our hearts and learn to embrace all experiences with gratitude with just a few minutes each day spent on shifting our perspective. With gratitude and open hearts, we can change our world in a positive way. 

Perhaps the Origin of Darwin's Theory

Great article about similarities between Darwin and Buddhism.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/the-origins-of-darwins-theory-it-may-have-evolved-in-tibet-1623001.html

Body, Speech and Mind in Perfect Oneness

Last Friday night, I decided to watch the documentary “Get Vegucated.”  The documentary followed three people from various walks of life try to eat a vegan diet for 6-weeks.   Before I go into this more, let me just say that a moment before watching the documentary I was disappointed to find I did not fit into the once comfy PJs I wanted to “veg-out” and watch the movie in.  They used to be baggy and loose.  My bad eating, no neglectful and mindless eating caught up with me.   I watched the movie and I started thinking about how my Buddhist practice should cover BODY, speech and mind. 

Sitting in meditation will not make you thinner.  How you treat and train your body is just as important as how you treat and train your mind.  Treating your body well is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself.

This is why the documentary hit a nerve with me.  What have I been doing?  I have been busy meditating, but have not paid a bit of attention to what I have been eating.  Yes, there is the whole animal cruelty thing that is bothersome, but this is not what bothered me.  My pantry is filled with processed foods, sugar, chemicals, etc.  My inner Buddha is not the fat kind.

Why not consider giving this a try and see if it makes a difference in my overall feeling of well-being? 

Giving up meat, milk and eggs, I can adjust to this.  I am sure family and friends will be supportive.  My biggest challenges will be the following.  

1.       How do I eat vegan and still feed a picky, meat-eating teenager?   We will see how this goes.

2.       I need to find a good vitamin supplement and then need to remember to take it daily.  I am not a big milk drinker anyway, but cut all cheese and other dairy?  I need to remember to take my calcium and not forget it.  Also, I have read articles that vegans tend to be deficient most in calcium, vitamin D, Omega vitamins.  And, my sister stresses B-Complex vitamins.

3.       Eating out will be difficult.  At some restaurants, wine, pickles, lettuce or going hungry will be the only options.   This will require some careful planning before heading out to eat and will limit where I can go.

Mindfulness includes eating healthier. 

Last weekend, I got busy stocking my refrigerator with healthy, vegan options.  I already have things like quinoa and brown rice in the house.  The rest of this blog post contains a list of what I bought with lessons I learned along the way.

Treat yourself!

1.       Purely Decadent Chocolate Obsession Non-Dairy Ice Cream—This is by far my favorite find.  It soy based and DELICIOUS.   I like this as much, if not more than Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.  It even has little chocolate crunchy bites mixed in.  I can’t wait to try the other flavors.  I just want to keep my kids from finding out how good this is!  http://www.purelydecadent.com/products/soy-milk-frozen-desserts

2.       Kim’s Magic Pop Onion, Plain and Strawberry Flavors—These are awesome and only 15 calories a piece!  If you ate the whole bag in one sitting, although that would not be mindful, it would only be 225 calories.  My kids and I ate all of them in 2 days and had to go back to the store for more.  They are crunch and great for times you just want something to munch on.  http://www.kimsmagicpop.com/magic-pop-story/

READ the labels!

3.       Go Veggie Smoked Provolone Cheese—This was also pretty good and creamy.  However, I read the label yesterday and was disappointed to see there are milk by-products in the cheese.  Why do they call this Go Veggie and dairy free!  Please note that I learned there is a purple labeled Go Veggie for vegans.  Look for the word casein or whey (a.k.a. milk) in the ingredients.  Also, do not assume Dairy Free, rice or soy based means it is vegan.

4.       Go Veggie Shredded Parmesan Cheese—Same as the provolone, this has milk by-product if you buy the green label.

5.       Galaxy Shredded Rice Cheese—I did not open this and will be returned to the store.  It has casein in the ingredients.  I heard they have a vegan version of the same cheese.

Vegan does not mean it better for you.

6.       Earth Balance Natural Spread—Although this is vegan and tastes okay, I question why I bought this.  It has as much artery clogging crap in it as any other margarine on the market.  If it makes you feel better to buy it because it says “vegan” on the label, go for it!  http://www.earthbalancenatural.com/product/original-buttery-spread/

Don’t be afraid to try new things.

7.       Sprouted Smoked Tofu—No particular brand to share, but this is pretty good.  I love the firm texture and it is already seasoned.  This was very convenient when I needed something for my lunch.

8.       Regular Firm Tofu—I love tofu and I have learned this week of ways to give it a firmer and meatier texture such as tossing in corn starch and soaking up excess water with a paper towel before cooking.  I will keep you posted on how this goes.

9.       Kashi Strawberry Fields Cereal—I like this.  It is a sweet and crunchy cereal.  I ate it with almond milk and tossed in a handful of blueberries.  http://www.kashi.com/products/strawberry_fields_original

10.   Rainbow Swiss Chard—I never had swiss chard before.  It was really good.  I sautéed diced swiss chard in olive olive with minced garlic and onion.  Then, tossed in some cooked quinoa.  This was one of my favorite meals this week.  I am proud of this one and so happy to say I tried something new!

Beware of meatless meat food.  It will not help your craving for fried chicken.

11.   Oven Roasted Tofurky Deli Slices—YUCK!  It smelled like dog food.  http://www.tofurky.com/tofurkyproducts/deli_slices.html

12.   Pepperoni Tofurky Slices—I was hoping to make pizza with this, but after the oven roasted Tofurky, I am taking this back to the store.  If you want pepperoni, eat pepperoni.  If you want to be vegan, have a veggie pizza. http://www.tofurky.com/tofurkyproducts/deli_slices.html

Fruit!  Lots of fruit!

13.   Blueberries, Cara Cara Oranges, Bananas—All within easy reach and all good for me.

14.   Frozen Mixed Fruit—An easy alternative if I run out of fruit.  Also, frozen fruit is a good treat frozen!

The word sprouted not only sounds healthier, but it can taste good.

15.   Ezekiel Sesame Sprouted Bread—This is pretty good.  I like the fact it is coated with sesame seeds on the outside and the inside of the bread is not loaded with nuts.  If you looking for a bread close to good old fashion whole wheat, this is a good choice.  The bonus, it is good for you and only 80 calories per slice.  http://www.foodforlife.com/product/breads/ezekiel-49-sesame-sprouted-whole-grain-bread

16.   Matzo—A good old piece of matzi topped with the Earth Balance spread is vegan!  However, it is not real good for you. L

Comparison shop-- Not all products are the same

17.   Pacific Brand Unsweetened Almond Milk—This I liked better than regular milk, but ended up disappointed with I saw it only contains 2% of the USD recommended allowance for calcium.  I end up pouring this down the drain and buying Almond Dream brand. http://www.pacificfoods.com/our-foods/nut-grain-beverages/organic-unsweetened-almond-original-non-dairy-beverage

18.   Almond Dream Brand Unsweetened Almond Milk—This is low in calories and has 30% of the USD recommended allowance for calcium.   It is fortified, but better than nothing.  Tastes the same as the Pacific brand and has calcium.  This is a keeper. http://www.tastethedream.com/products/product/1938/360.php

As my quest for easy and good tasting vegan food continues, I will continue to share my progress during my 6-week challenge.  If you have any ideas, please share.  I am officially on day 4 and feeling pretty good so far.  I feel more satisfied after eating and I have found I am less likely to snack in between meals. 

Until next time.  May you be happy!

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Two weeks ago I installed a new application on my Android phone call the Mindfulness Bell.  I set the bell to radiate its soft ring every half hour throughout the day.  “Ding!” goes the bell right as I type this very sentence.  Upon the sound of the bell, you are to stop wherever you are, just breathe, and just be.  This exercise is intended to bring you back to a mindful, awakened state no matter where you are and what you are doing.

As with some of my other mindfulness practices, the bell felt uncomfortable and I was a bit embarrassed about it at the beginning.  I toyed with how loud to make the bell ring on my phone when I first installed the application.  How can I make the bell loud enough to catch my attention, yet not disturb anyone else while at work?   My hearing isn’t what it used to be.  What if my phone is in my purse?   I ended up settling on a ring loud enough for me to hear and others that are interacting with me. 

The bell noticeably rang during meetings, grocery shopping, yelling at my kids, getting ready for work, watching TV, meditating, talking with friends, at holiday parties, etc.  It has gone off while I have been everything from happy to sleepy to piss off. 

My employees are now even getting into the bell.   After a few days of the bell ringing, I decided to explain the bell to my employees.  To my surprise, during meetings everyone hears the bell, stops talking, smiles, and continues with the discussion.  Sometimes it even makes people laugh.  No harm in that! 

To think a simple bell on my phone can bring me back to the present moment…mindfully.  Hmmm, maybe I should set it for every 10 minutes!

A Confession

One day when I was 4 years old, my mother informed me that I was going to receive a special birthday present, a baby. Funny, I do not remember asking for a baby.  Umm, hey there, did I say I wanted a baby?  However, I remember everyone getting =excited, so I guess I became excited too.  Several months later, my birthday rolled around.  No baby.  I was disappointed—or so my mother said I was.

Nine days later, a baby girl was finally born.  Everyone was excited and coming over to visit. Even the Diamond’s from next door came over to see the new baby.  “Oh, she is so cute!” they said.  Funny, Mrs. Diamond never came over to our house, yet she came over for the baby.  I used to sit next to our adjoining fence and eat strawberries from stray plants that spread from her yard to ours—she saw me every day and never said hello.   Anyway, back to THE baby. 

My room was not even my room anymore—I had to share it with THE baby.   Now all of the attention was on her, not me.  So I went to my room, shut the door and sat on the floor pouting.  There the white baby crib sat, my old bed, against the inner wall of our bedroom.  Over the crib hung a mobile of various types of stuffed birds—my old mobile.  I stood on my tiptoes, stretching to reach one of the birds.  It was a difficult reach, but on my third try I managed to grab one of the birds and pulled it off of the mobile.  I could feel the anger and jealousy filling my little body. I always wanted to know what made the birds’ spongy inside.  Then, I proceeded to cut the bird with my paper scissors.  I still remember the sandy, sawdust like material coming out of the bird and spilling on the light green and white shag carpeting.  Very cool!  All of a sudden I realized how much trouble I was going to be in, so I quickly cleaned up the mess and hid the evidence.  I think it took a few weeks for someone to notice the missing bird and, to this day, I do not remember ever getting in trouble. 

Now 40 years later, my baby sister can push my buttons like no other and I feel like that 4 year old little girl wanting to cut up her birds at times.  At the same time, she has become one of my best friends in this world.  My sister has decided recently to start studying up on Buddhism.  I am so happy for her, but it is a struggle not to fall into the mode of being the bossy big sister.  I need to allow her to find her own way, down her own path.  All the same, I know it will be both fun and a challenge to begin practicing together.

May you be happy baby sister.

Dharma Talk: Bringing Meditation into Everyday Life

The following is a dharma talk I delivered on Sunday, November 11, 2012.

My kids and I enjoy going out weekly for Chinese food.  I always look forward to the end of the meal when the fortune cookie comes.  I am delighted when once in a while I actually receive a fortune cookie providing a little insight into life.  Several weeks ago my fortune said, “People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual.”  I immediately became aware of a familiar, unpleasant sensation of anxiety and stress in my body.   I could feel a tight feeling in my chest, my breathing became shallow and I could feel a knot in the pit of my stomach.  I thought if only this could come true.  If only people could really be cooperative.  I was going through a very tough and emotional time with several people in my life causing me suffering.  The stress of this situation combined with other expected life changes was leaving me feeling exhausted.  Healthy habits such as setting aside time to meditate seemed impossible to work into the busyness of my life.  Sometimes the act of sitting made me feel like I would jump out of my skin.  As a result, my Buddhist practice was feeling more and more out of reach. 

During trying times, it is sometimes good idea to take a step back and remember why we started practicing Buddhism and meditation in the first place.  Many of us seek Buddhism and start meditating as a way to relieve our suffering and possibly to reduce stress in our lives. Many of us came here to find solace during times of crisis and great sadness.  Some of us are looking for some type of life change.  We are all seekers in one way or another.  When I listened to one of Janet’s dharma talks for the first time the words resonated with me.  Buddhism felt good, right and a logical choice.  Finally, some practical advice I can put into action!  And, for an organized list maker like me, there are even steps!  Like many of us, I quickly learned all was not as easy as it seemed.  It is easy to become so caught up in the drama in life that we forget and struggle to connect with the inner Buddha that is in all of us.  We become consumed with thoughts of “if only.”  If only people would just cooperate. If only things were different.   

This week we are finishing the final chapter of the book Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hahn.  Thich Nhat Hahn, as known as Thay, has written a very practice guide for dealing with life’s natural ebb and flow.  His style is gentle and to approach all that we do in a meditative way.  Be present, smile and be compassionate to yourself and others.  In this chapter, he describes the Sanskrit term samadhi or concentration through the practice of stopping the invasion of feelings and thoughts which deplete our strength in meditation.  I was curious and did a little more research on the term samadhi.  Internet sources say that samadhi is a term used in yoga, Hinduism and Buddhism to describe the meditative process meaning to “become one.”   Samadhi in this context refers to the processes or steps to intensify and achieve the highest level of meditation.  The steps may different within the different Buddhist traditions.

As beginners to meditation, samadhi is best understood as a feeling of joy, peace and overall well-being.  For example, have you ever lost track of time while doing something you really enjoy and felt good doing?  This is a form of samadhi.  The highest level of samadhi is described as a state where there is no concept of time.  There is no concept of the ego or self.  It is an ultimate state where you are at one with the universe.   Some describe this state as being so incredible that you will not want to leave it.  For beginners, we start with the basics.  One of our basic practices in meditation is to focus on the sensation of breathing.  Should we become distracted with a thought or feeling, we let it naturally arise, without pushing it away or grasping a hold.  We stop and bring our attention back to our breath.  We do this over and over again.  This is the first practice taught to strengthen our meditation.  We may never reach the highest state of samadhi; however, through regular meditation practice, we can become more aware of what is really going on in our bodies, our minds and the world around us.  Much like working out at the gym, you practice daily, and you become much stronger building your mental strength and in turn, strengthening your concentration muscle.  

Thay describes many ways to bring a meditation practice into your life.  The most basic way is sitting meditation and creating a space to go to and sit in peace without distractions.  He uses an analogy of a child doing his homework.  He has to stop chewing gum or watching TV to be able to pay full attention to his homework.  However, my kids would tell you this is not true.  When I started meditating, I had visions of creating a very Zen like room, hardwood floors, meditation cushion and flowing curtains.   I think all of you have seen this picture in a magazine.  However, my house is small, so my meditation space consisted of sitting on the edge of my bed, lighting a candle on my bedside table and trying to ignore the sounds of Leo my parrot in the background.  This was like learning to ride a bike on a rocky path, but it was my best attempt at creating a peaceful atmosphere and space at my house.  Over time, I purchased a comfortable cushion and meditate on the floor.  I am comfortable sitting on the floor.  This may or may not work for you.  As part of my meditation, I slowly place my Buddha in front of me, light a candle, and wrap my mala beads around my wrist.  Feel more connected with the feel of the beads in my hand.  By the way, Leo the parrot has since found a new home.  The point is to find how to create a space you can go to regularly that suits your lifestyle and provides you a sense of peace.  In the book, Thay suggests going to this special place should you become agitated, step away and go sit.  This statement made me laugh because it is obvious he has never experienced having a small child, when even sitting on the toilet is not a private task.  Or, maybe sitting makes you want to jump out of your skin.  We are not monks in a monastery and do not always have the luxury of going to a special place and sit in peace. 

When we cannot sit, this is when other informal types of meditation can be useful alternatives to sitting.  Step away and try walking meditation.  On nice days, maybe go to a local park and eat your lunch in silence, followed by some walking meditation.  Be present, listening to the sounds of the birds chirping, feeling the wind, sun on your skin, and slowly lifting each foot feeling the earth beneath each step.  Try eating meditation or drinking tea in a meditative way.   Thich Nhat Hahn describes the process of spending 2 hours drinking a single cup of tea.  I don’t know about 2 hours---how about starting with 15 minutes?  Smell the tea, feel the warmth of the cup, really taste the tea and be completely present with only the experience of drinking the tea.  Maybe meditate while doing a routine task like standing in line at the grocery store, washing dishes, standing at a copier or brushing your teeth.  Try sky gazing—look at the clouds or the stars.  The point is to stop, concentrate and be fully present.  If you have children, have them participate with you.  Create the space and peace to put us in touch with our inner Buddha and get us in touch with our true self, our body, and what is really going on in the world around us. 

Not too long ago, a wise person named Janet said to me, “Meditation is like a pot simmering on the stove.  Let the pot sit and it will eventually boil.  Keep removing the pot and placing back on the stove, it will continue to simmer.”  I will add to this, take the pot off the stove long enough, it will go cold.  The foundation of our Buddhist practice is strengthened by creating a regular meditation practice.  Build strength, then, just maybe we can find that place of inner peace rather than becoming stressed, overwhelmed and hooked when life isn’t panning out like we want it too.  When we start to head down the path of “If only” we can stop, create space and allow our experiences to naturally arise and float by like a cloud in the sky.   We can remember and choose to respond mindfully and skillfully by letting the experience pass, without holding too tight to what we are feeling or pushing it down and away.  We can see through our story to connect with our inner Buddha realizing that things are not always as they appear.  We can drop the story all together to see the truth and the natural perfection in things as they really are. 

I will end this Dharma talk with a poem. 

Free and Easy - A Spontaneous Vajra Song
by Lama Gendun Rinpoche
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower,
but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
Has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.
Why identify with,
And become attached to it,
Passing Judgment upon it and ourselves?

Far better to simply
let the entire game happen on its own,
springing up and falling back like waves
without changing or manipulating anything
and notice how everything
vanishes and reappears, magically,
Again and again, time without end.

Only our searching for happiness
prevents us from seeing it.
It's like a vivid rainbow which you pursue
without ever catching,
or a dog chasing its own tail.

Although peace and happiness
do not exist as an actual thing or place,
it is always available
and accompanies you every instant.

Don't believe in the reality
of good and bad experiences;
they are today's passing weather,
like rainbows in the sky.

Wanting to grasp the ungraspable,
you exhaust yourself in vain.
As soon as you open and relax
this tight fist of grasping,
infinite space is there -
open, inviting and comfortable.

Make use of this spaciousness, this
freedom and natural ease.
Don't search any further
looking for the great awakened elephant,
who is already resting quietly at home
in front of your own hearth.

Nothing to do or undo,
nothing to force,
nothing to want,
And nothing missing.

Emaho! Marvelous!
Everything happens by itself.

OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

Things can be magnified when we are experiencing emotional or physical pain--much like the passenger side mirror on the car.  Look at the pain too close and it is often distorted.  This is especially the case if you are suffering because of unskillful actions or behavior of another person. See the situation as it really is, really see it and feel it, and the truth will be revealed.

Tibetan Infinite Knot

The Infinite Knot, one of the eight auspicious symbols in Buddhism, represents the endless cycle of life from birth to death, dark to light and everything in between.  This symbol is a reminder that life will naturally ebb and flow. We can take comfort that we are all interconnected and no one is alone in their suffering.  All is connected to karma.  You reap what you sow.  Act with good intentions and bring love, peace and harmony into your life.

Looking for Peace? Just Breathe

"Breathing in I calm my body

Breathing out I smile

Dwelling in this present moment

I know it is a wonderful moment"--Thich Nhat Hahn

No matter where you go

What you do

How tough life becomes

There is always the breathe

Fill your lungs and breathe deeply

Realize it all is okay as it is

Only this moment matters

Just breathe

Find your peace
Be free
Be peace

Oops! I Forgot Something...

I now know for a fact that meditation has changed my life for the better.  What better way to find out than to experiment and stop meditating regularly for a month or so?

Um, maybe not such a good idea…

The impact to my overall feeling of well being, my stress level and how I interacted with others has been very noticeable over the last few weeks. There have been times I sit mindlessly in front of the TV feeling anxious, not sleeping, overeating, and feeling completely sorry for myself.  As a past time, I find myself reflecting on trivial problems, events and things that someone said that upset me… so many things upset me.  Sometimes I for "fun" I contact friends and family members to talk with them about it all.  Talking about the same problem over and over helps, right?  My expensive meditation cushion has been suffocating under a heaped of laundry that I have not been motivated to wash.  There have been days I want to go hide under a rock.  I am sure there are days the people I interact with probably wished I would.  I have been in an official FUNK.

Everything has been magnified, and everything has been about ME. 


Frustrating that it is so easy to drift into old habits.  What triggers us to throw out good habits when times get tough?  Why do we not take the time to take care of ourselves and do good for ourselves during times of stress or when we are so busy?  Think of all of the time I wasted because I was not meditating.  It is during the rough times we need meditation the most.  I do not dare judge myself for my unskillful ways.  This is how we grow, learn and change. 

I am happy to report that I am back meditating again.  Getting back on track has not been easy.  There are moments of sitting where I think I will literally jump out of my skin and sometimes I anticipate meditating longer than the actual meditation.  I have noticed over the past few days the veil of uncertainty is becoming thinner and thinner.  I am starting to feel at peace.

My meditation practice is my little contribution to make the world a better place…at least for me and those I interact with on a regular basis.  Meditation allows us to reach that deep place within and interact everyday with compassion, kindness and wisdom in all that we do.  Something not to forget.

May you be happy! <3

Project Me

It was January 2011.  A brand new year, my father just passed away and I ended a long relationship with a man that was going absolutely nowhere.  I was not happy, I felt angry and incomplete.  I hit a brick wall with nowhere else to go.  There was only one recourse; I had to change to better myself.  I made a clear commitment to not to jump back into dating.  I did not set any time limits and I did not know how I was going to do all of this.  I just knew if I continued down the same path of doing things the same way, I would most definitely end up in the same place--unhappy. 

As a single mom I could not think of the last time I made an effort to really do something for myself.   I manage large projects all of the time at work, giving all my energy and soul to the projects, why not do the same for myself?  Off I went on my special journey.  I started the biggest project of my life, a project all about me.

Like most projects I manage, I started by establishing a mission statement and 3 high level objectives.

The mission statement was kept very simple.  Love.  This one word was presented to me at the beginning of the year at a bowl burning ceremony.  My biggest challenge was that I was calling off dating, so how in the world was I to find love in my life?  I continued anyway into the vast unknown. 

The objectives were as follows:

1.      I want to develop new friendships.

2.      I want a life with a sense of purpose and substance.  Specifically, I want my life to be more than about my career or about being a mom.

3.      I want to feel happy.

Reading through the list left me feeling instantly overwhelmed, so I took each objective one by one and came up with one clear small task I could complete in a short amount of time.  Example of my first baby steps…

1.      I want to develop new friendships.

o Sign-up for a Happy Hour with a Meetup group.

2.      I want a life with a sense of purpose and substance.  Specifically, I want my life to be more than about my career and being a mom.

o Attend volunteer orientation at a local animal shelter.

3.      I want to be happy and love my life.

o Meditate for a set amount of time each day and attend regular Buddhist dharma talks. 

As I completed each task, I documented what I did and quickly added another task to follow under each objective.  I started volunteering regularly and gradually raised my hand to take on some large volunteer project during the year.  I developed a regular meditation practice and found a wonderful sangha, spiritual friends, to support my Buddhist practice.  I not only attended regular Meetup events and met some great people, but I became a Meetup organizer.  Most importantly, I noticed my happiness was bringing happiness into other lives and my own.  People close to me were commenting on changes they were observing in my behavior, my attitude.  I started feeling renewed.

Over and over again I added to my task list.  Slowly, my children started taking my lead and developing similar interests through volunteering and participating in different activities.  To my surprise, all of our hearts were opening.  My life was changing and I found a true inner love as a result. My project was a success.

Here I sit over one year later and I have reached a bit of a crossroad.  I have continued building upon the three original objectives, but I am feeling restless and feel the need to take this to another level.

Phase II—Project Me 

My new mission statement was presented to me in January 2012--“Freedom”.  A single word again, but a big word.  Freedom is defined in Webster’s Dictionary as “the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint; exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.; and, the power to determine action without restraint, personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery.”

Objectives:

1.       Find ways to be more kind to yourself.

2.       Find way to be more kind to others.

3.       Get organized in your life.

I have some work to do.  Stay tuned.

Monkey Mind

I have nothing to write about.  Absolutely nothing. Funny, when I meditate this is exactly my goal--to sit and simply do nothing.  Yet, staring at this empty page is giving me anxiety.  Why?

Nothing to write about, but my mind has a full "to do" list that spans from now through next Sunday evening.  Actually, this is the problem.  They call it Monkey Mind.  My mind is racing so I cannot write. I am getting caught up in the worry and anticipation of what is next rather than what is now. 

This is why we practice. 

The Power of Relics

The Maitreya Project--Heart Shrine Relic Tour came to my home town in late 2011.  I was responsible for coordinating volunteers to perform various duties during the tour such as guarding the relics, assisting visitors to bathe the baby Buddha and receive a blessing.  This ended up to be a much bigger job than expected since it required coordinating the activities of approximately 60 volunteers over an entire weekend.

I have to admit that I did not understand what a relic even was prior to the tour.  I volunteered as an opportunity to get to know fellow sangha members and give back to a place that has been good to me. 

A relic is a religious object.  In the case of the Heart Shrine Relic Tour, the relics included personal items of the Dalia Lama himself, blood relics of various Buddhist spiritual masters, and those of the Buddhas.  When the bodies were cremated, crystals popped up in their ashes like popcorn. The crystals are put on display in different containers—these are the relics.

Many Buddhist believe the relics hold a special power or energy which transmit blessings or spiritual energy directly to all visitors.  I have to admit to being pretty skeptical of the power and energy of the relics at the beginning.  I never considered myself religious and rituals all seemed like a bunch of hocus pocus to me. 

The nuns in charge of the tour helped coordinate the setup.  The chapel was sealed off when they removed the relics to place them in the display case.  They even suited up with gloves and wore surgical masks.  A large table was set up with display cases which would hold the relics.  Displayed in the center of the table were golden Maitreya statues of various sizes.  The volunteers were allowed to place personal Buddhas on the table so they could absorb energy from the relics.  I added my little brass Buddha to the display table just for grins.  Who was I to turn down the possibility of obtaining some good juju!

Over the weekend, I watch visitors from all walks of life enter the chapel where the relics were displayed.  Some were like me and did not know what the in heck they were looking at. There were others that became mesmerized by the so called power of the relics.  There was a Korean man and woman I watch perform prostrations in front of the relics.  There were even visitors which returned for a second visit and blessing over the course of the weekend.  Some cried.  Many bowed before the relics.

There was one couple from a neighboring state that stayed for the entire length of the tour.  The woman claimed to be able to feel and transmit the power of the relics from her body.  I watched when she approached the relics.  As she rang tiny bells that were on display by the relics, her eyes began to flutter and roll back in her head.  

Each visitor was touched in a unique way.  Eventually, even I was touched.

On the last day of the tour, I found myself sobbing out of nowhere and left the chapel to gain composure.  They were happy tears like the kind that come when watching the end to a lovely movie.  I was overwhelmed with the energy, compassion, kindness and love in the room.  To top it off, the thought that I was able to put skills to use that I use every day in the corporate world to help support this wonderful experience made me beam from my heart outward. 

Do the relics really transmit energy?  I think there are people that believe they do.  For me, the wonderful transformative energy was coming from the visitors of the relics, and the powerful energy from my sangha who worked together to help create the experience for others.

The tiny brass Buddha that sat with the relics is now sitting on my fireplace mantel.  Our family is convinced the little Buddha is radiating love, kindness and compassion into our home.  

This is the true power of the relics. 

May you be happy.

"The aim of Maitreya Project is to bring long-term social and economic benefit to millions of people in northern India and sustained spiritual benefit to the world community."  For information on the Maitreya Project and Heart Shrine Relic Tour go to http://www.maitreyaproject.org.