Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Oops! I Forgot Something...

I now know for a fact that meditation has changed my life for the better.  What better way to find out than to experiment and stop meditating regularly for a month or so?

Um, maybe not such a good idea…

The impact to my overall feeling of well being, my stress level and how I interacted with others has been very noticeable over the last few weeks. There have been times I sit mindlessly in front of the TV feeling anxious, not sleeping, overeating, and feeling completely sorry for myself.  As a past time, I find myself reflecting on trivial problems, events and things that someone said that upset me… so many things upset me.  Sometimes I for "fun" I contact friends and family members to talk with them about it all.  Talking about the same problem over and over helps, right?  My expensive meditation cushion has been suffocating under a heaped of laundry that I have not been motivated to wash.  There have been days I want to go hide under a rock.  I am sure there are days the people I interact with probably wished I would.  I have been in an official FUNK.

Everything has been magnified, and everything has been about ME. 

Frustrating that it is so easy to drift into old habits.  What triggers us to throw out good habits when times get tough?  Why do we not take the time to take care of ourselves and do good for ourselves during times of stress or when we are so busy?  Think of all of the time I wasted because I was not meditating.  It is during the rough times we need meditation the most.  I do not dare judge myself for my unskillful ways.  This is how we grow, learn and change. 

I am happy to report that I am back meditating again.  Getting back on track has not been easy.  There are moments of sitting where I think I will literally jump out of my skin and sometimes I anticipate meditating longer than the actual meditation.  I have noticed over the past few days the veil of uncertainty is becoming thinner and thinner.  I am starting to feel at peace.

My meditation practice is my little contribution to make the world a better place…at least for me and those I interact with on a regular basis.  Meditation allows us to reach that deep place within and interact everyday with compassion, kindness and wisdom in all that we do.  Something not to forget.

May you be happy! <3

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