Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Special Message to My Beautiful Daughter

The other night you were listening to music and became teary eyed because everything is changing.  I have had similar thoughts.  Our little family is changing.  It seems like yesterday you were a little girl.  Always full of opinions and stubborn!  You are a lot like me, but you have a special quality of your own.
The first day you were born, I swear you could hold your head up with minimum support.  You were able to roll to your back day 2.  You were so strong, so sure of yourself, and you still are so strong.  Right or wrong, you have been my rock at times.  I remember the touch of your little hand patting my shoulder right before your dad and I got divorce.  As I sat on the bathroom floor crying, your little voice said, “Mommy, please don’t cry.  It will be okay.”  It was your little voice that my inner wisdom and strength heard loudly—it gave me strength to pull myself up and move forward.  It is important for you to know that when I look back at a time where I made a significant change, it was this moment.  This was one of the scariest and most significant times of my life.  You were right there beside me.  Over the years, I have been tough on you and pushed you to do more than you thought you could do.  It is because I knew you could do it.  I could sense a wise, old soul in your young body. 
As you head into this new chapter of life and leave for college, here are some things to remember along the way.  These are the same things I try to remember during my journey.

Really listen to your inner voice.  Never overlook it.


Enjoy now.  It is the journey along the way, not the destination that we are living for.


You will have bumps in the road filled with fear, sadness and pain along the way.  At times, you will be scared to make the next move.  Those times are special because they cause you to learn, grow and change.  Embrace them.


Do not allow what other people think or what other people do influence you.  Their opinions are just that, their opinions.  Remember only you know what is the best thing for you to do. 


“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…Do the thing you think you cannot do.” --Eleanor Roosevelt    Do not give up because of fear.  Everything I ever did that was worth while in my life was very scary in the beginning.


Take care of your body.  You must take care of yourself first, before you can take care of anyone or anything else. 


There is no such thing as luck, bad karma, or good karma.  Accomplishments take hard work and efforts to achieve.  Beware of short cuts and cutting corners--they could be booby traps in disguise. 


It is okay to act silly sometimes.  No matter how old you are, remember how to play and DANCE!


Family is important.  Always stay close with your brother.  He is most like you and you need each other.


Life is like a bank account.  Make sure you give back more than you take.  Give selflessly and do not expect or ask for anything in return.  It is not the size of the gift that matters.  Small acts of kindness count.


Be your own best friend.  Be kind and compassionate to yourself.  Laugh with yourself. 


Plan wisely for the future, but do not lose sight of the present moment. 


Learn from the past and try not to woulda, shoulda, coulda yourself.  Now is the best moment to begin again and do it differently. 


Sometimes saying nothing is best.


You can only change you, not others.  Be the example and they may (or may not) follow. 


“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”—Dalai Lama


Being alone is not necessarily bad and it is not the worse thing.  It does not mean you are lonely. It is much worse to not be alone and be desperately unhappy with who you are with.


"People are like scaffolding, when the building is complete, they go away."--Bishop T. D. Jakes Sometimes there is a need to reevaluate your friends and decide when they have served their purpose in your life. 


When you feel overwhelmed by everything you need to get done, make a list, prioritize into small tasks.  Start with the first one and work your way down the list.  This works for cleaning your room, school work and just about anything in life.


Do not neglect your spirit.  It is as important as anything else in your life.  It does not take religion to nurture your spirit.  For some, a simple walk in nature does the trick.  Do not be afraid to try different things and find what is right for you. 


Fact of life--we must earn money to support ourselves.  It is my hope you can make money doing something you are passionate about.  However, if you cannot, remember that you can fulfill your passion in other ways outside of work or somewhere within the work you do.  Do not lose sight of how you can bring a sense of purpose and passion into all that you do.


Be happy.  Money does not make you happy.  Do not look for happiness in material wealth.  Things will only make you happy briefly.  When the novelty wears off, you will be as happy as you were beforehand.  “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” –Mahatma Gandhi  


Do not EVER compromise what you know is right for you, and your beliefs for others. 

Most important…

Remember how much you are loved.  You will always be my baby. No matter where you go, how far you go, and what you do in life, I will be here.

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